poetry

check out the void collection over in the sidebar!!!

fuck this dude in particular

I dont like you, man

Let me just say it, out loud, so everyone knows

I dont like you

I dont care about your neuroses, you never cared about mine

Im too much to deal with, you say

But you never even tried

I put in the hours, the effort, the time

What did i get back?

A fucking insult

A lie

A coward who wont look me in the face as he ends my life

You say i cant move on

But you never told me it was over

How was i supposed to get the hint

If you kept telling me its fine

crazy

I know my fear means nothing to you

I know, i know

I know what i've done is unforgivable

I know, i know

But why put me in this position in the first place

Why cast me in the role of the crazy eyed rambler

When all I wanted was the truth?

We were never going to be beautiful

But did we have to turn out so ugly?

I know, i know

Youve moved past it

I know, i know

I’m the one holding on

no

I like saying goodbye

And no

And i wont

And never again

I wasnt able to say those things for so long

Even when i want to do something, it feels better knowing i can object and noone minds

memory

i'm too tired to cry, yet i do anyway.

too proud to be scared, yet i am regardless.

would you like to know a secret? on the backs of all my photos, i write what happened in them, in case i forget. (and i always do)

the worst part, is sometimes i forget i've forgotten. i forget that everything's gone, that my memory is empty and barren, that i contain nothing, give nothing, have nothing, am nothing.

sometimes, i really believe i have everything.

i hate poems

I hate poems

Hate cute little allusions and alliteration

Cant stand how it makes art of my suffering

Hurts my heart the way i cant seem to stop

Turning bruises into prose

Bleeding to ink

Thoughts wide open to the world im writing for.

If i could silence my brain for a second

We wouldn't be here, would we.

fuzzy religion

I think one part of myself is deeply religious

But i can never touch her

I feel the way she feels,

Still i can never touch her

I see her-our-god in every flash of light

Still i can never touch

As close as we are, sharing thoughts, feelings, love

I can never get close enough to really feel

The heat of her devotion

Get close enough to call it mine

Its in my head but isnt mine

I can never touch her

the cardinal poem

i love the red bird

flash of blood across a yellow blue aching sky

something new that brings me back to focus like a shock of pain

to see him is to invite luck into your home

its a secret we share, me and the red bird,

a secret that whispers ive forgotten what it means to be ok

but all i need to do is kiss him

and fortune will flow freely from my palms and eyes

like blood across a bruised sky

noticing a statue on the way to work

Its blue outside.

Despite the frost on your fingertips

You look the same as ever,

In your naked blue-green-black skin.

You stand rigid and bare in the face of passing seasons.

Now,

The air is cold and the plants surrounding your raised arms have

Long died

The world is empty

Still,

There you are, silent, still and unwavering.

an unbothered exhibitionist

Baring your tarnished body

For the small beauty it brings a stranger

Being beautiful does not suit me-diana

Nice flowery sentences

Strung together

To make a daisy chain of lace

And pretty explanations

But feelings are actually,

Usually,

Quite gross.

Jubilation can destroy you in the same breath it saves

So what is the point, then

Of making it pretty?

Lace and roses dont fit right, even though i try.

Being clean, quiet, beautiful

Is all i want,

But these emotions creep their way in like weeds every time

And steal it all away.

Everytime it becomes too much,

And then im writing for you again

Instead of myself.

glutton for punishment

Something evil exists here

I need to be punished

I need to be punished

Need blood on my bat

And my teeth

And my skin

I need to be punished

Take my hands away

Before i use them

To take your head in them and

Never let go

how many times do i have to say it: i dont want to be your friend

Speaking is a curse

Made of warm honey,

Love, and promises of safety

Community

Speaking is a curse

That gives away all of you

To the guise of camaraderie

It starts with agreement

Starts with a chance to be included,

Part of something,

Then continues like in a trance

Before you know it-

One secret,

Then another

Pulled bloody like teeth

Into the hands of those waiting beneath

They want more, they need it,

So they pull you apart

Clumsily,

Holding your still beating heart

Now that they know you youll never get out

If only youd known to just shut up.

glutton for punishment pt 2

Defenestrate me baby!

I need something bad to happen

The only way ill keep my head on

Is if you

Cut

It

Off.

new pet owner

There is a dog in my house

I dont have to feed her, she does not bite.

I give her treats, small things, scraps of anything I find

And she lays her head on my lap

At the end of a long day.

the trust in her eyes is more than i deserve

Ive never had a dog before

Never wanted to keep something more than myself alive, safe

I stay up while she sleeps at the foot of my bed,

Frantically searching for answers:

How to take care of a dog

Am i doing this right

What will make her leave

There is a dog in my house

And it is terrifying how much i fought it,

How much i cant imagine life without her now

It is terrifying how much she isn't

myself

i dont know who you are

(you dont have to be everything)

and i dont know what this is

(you dont have to be anything)

but there is solace in the existance of the we,

of the other

i am this for you

nothing you dont have to be you arent

that is survival, that is love, that is family

i am so scared, thats family

carry my burdens and hate me until we are more than the sum of our parts, that is family

you dont have to be anything but this

i cannot be everything so i am nothing made many